“We Do Not Yet Know About Life—How Can We Know About Death?”
“We do not yet know about life—how can we know about death?”
— Confucius, Analects 11.12
Most of us don’t cry because someone is gone.
We cry because we never got to say what we meant.
Because we loved them so imperfectly.
Because we never fully understood them while they were alive.
Confucius wasn’t avoiding the subject of death—he was exposing our obsession with what lies beyond,
while ignoring the ache of what’s right here.
We stare into the afterlife, but forget to touch the present.
And then one day, someone dies.
And all the questions we never asked—
all the forgiveness we never gave—
all the tenderness we postponed—
become our inheritance.
What Confucius Understood About Grief
Confucius, writing more than 2,000 years ago, gave voice to something every mourner knows in their bones:
Death is not the hardest part.
The hardest part is realizing how little we truly knew them—
even as we stood by their side for decades.
He believed it was wiser to focus on right living than right dying.
That the ritual of remembrance must be rooted in action, not speculation.
That’s why ancient mourning traditions weren’t about mystery—they were about honor.
They weren’t trying to explain death.
They were trying to say:
“You mattered. You changed me. I will not forget.”
What This Means for Eulogies
Writing a eulogy isn’t about answering death.
It’s about redeeming the moments we missed.
It’s our last chance to speak what was never spoken—
to remember them clearly,
to tell the truth of who they were,
to bless the silence they left behind.
You don’t have to be a poet to do this.
You don’t have to know the right words.
You just need to know the feeling you carry now.
And someone who can help translate it.
If You Don’t Know What to Say, I Do
If you’ve lost someone and feel the weight of words unsaid—
let me help you write what you meant to say while they were still here.
I offer:
Gentle Tributes – short, poetic farewells ($100)
Full Eulogies – deep, personal stories woven with reverence ($300)
Full Memorial Packages – eulogy + obituary + optional memorial site ($500)
Together, we can craft something sacred, simple, and unforgettable.
So they’re not remembered for how they died—
but how they lived.
"Based in Los Angeles, serving clients worldwide."
Based in Los Angeles, serving clients worldwide. Visit: www.mementomorimemorials.com
Browse eulogy writing services → Gentle Tribute | Full Eulogy | Full Memorial Package
