The Shadow We Bury: Carl Jung, Grief, and the Parts Left Unspoken
A haunting depiction of the Jungian Shadow in Memento Mori Realism. The skull, partially cloaked in tattered violet fabric, emits a subtle red glow from within — symbolizing the repressed unconscious, shame, rage, and hidden self. Inspired by Carl Jung’s theory of the psyche, this image visually embodies the confrontation with the darker aspects of the soul. Dark, symbolic, and emotionally immersive — designed to mirror the unconscious truths we bury.
There is a part of you that mourns louder than tears allow.
A part that aches not for who died, but for what was never said.
For the rage you swallowed.
The guilt you buried.
The story you edited to protect the image, not the truth.
Carl Jung had a name for this.
He called it The Shadow.
The Darkness Within Us All
Swiss psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung believed the human psyche was not a single, unified force — but a constellation of selves.
The Ego — the part of you that says “I am.”
The Persona — the social mask you wear to be loved.
The Anima/Animus — your hidden feminine or masculine essence.
The Self — your wholeness, not yet realized.
And deep beneath it all:
The Shadow — the pieces you reject, suppress, or refuse to see.
“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”
— Carl Jung, Psychology and Religion (1938)
The Shadow is not just evil.
It is anything unclaimed.
Shame. Lust. Jealousy. Rage.
But also:
Uncried grief. Silenced truths. The last words you were too afraid to say.
Why the Shadow Exists
We are born whole.
But the world teaches us which parts to hide.
Boys are told not to cry.
Girls are told to smile when they want to scream.
Grievers are told to “move on” instead of move through.
So we split.
The “good” part rises — and the rest falls underground.
But the Shadow doesn’t die.
It waits.
It waits in the empty pew.
It waits in the silence after the funeral.
It waits inside you, whispering what was never spoken.
Shadow Work in Grief
When someone dies, the Shadow comes closer.
It asks:
Did you say what mattered?
Did you love honestly, or only safely?
Are you mourning the person — or the parts of yourself they took with them?
Most eulogies are written by the Persona —
the mask.
The “she was always kind” version.
The “he never hurt anyone” rewrite.
Clean. Polite. False.
But real remembrance happens in the Shadow.
Where people are flawed. Messy. Beautiful anyway.
Writing Eulogies With the Shadow in the Room
I do not write to sanitize the dead.
I write to witness them.
That means:
Naming the grief that isn’t Instagram-ready.
Honoring the regrets as much as the gratitude.
Letting families speak the truth: “She was difficult. But I loved her anyway.”
To write a true eulogy is to walk through the dark —
And return not with answers, but with light.
Your Grief Has a Shadow, Too
You might think you're mourning a person.
But often, you're mourning the version of you that never spoke up.
The self that never forgave.
The child who needed to hear “I see you” but never did.
That’s shadow work.
That’s legacy work.
Because death doesn’t end relationships — it just ends the chance to pretend.
For Jungian Souls, and the Quietly Curious
You don’t need a PhD to feel the truth of Jung’s shadow.
You’ve already met it — in every regret.
In every funeral where you bit your tongue.
In every moment you thought, “I wish I had said more.”
This isn’t just a theory.
This is the terrain where eulogies become rituals of integration.
You are not just remembering them.
You are reclaiming you.
Based in Los Angeles, serving clients worldwide. Visit: www.mementomorimemorials.com
Browse eulogy writing services → Gentle Tribute | Full Eulogy | Full Memorial Package
